Have you ever stepped back and looked at someone and just watched them? I don’t mean judge, I mean just watch them. Watch the way they talk, the way they move, stand, how they hold their posture, how they look at items if they’re shopping. Just watch.

I’ve found that this is what I do. A lot. With family, friends and if I’m out, with strangers. I guess the short-term is called “People Watcher”. I’m a people watcher. 

I don’t feel like I’m judging, and I hope I don’t look like I’m judging. I’m not, because I don’t down the way they do things. I don’t criticise. I’m merely spectating. But the more I watch people the more I find that complete strangers may do the same stance or posture, or how they talk with their hands. They are similar. We may be different human beings across the globe, but, not really.

I guess you could say I’ve done this all my life but I’ve only come to realise that I do this, and here I sit, some odd 50 years later in my life trying to analyse why. And I can’t. But what I have come to find is that I am my Mother.

Due to all the sub-conscience analysing I’ve done with my mom throughout the years, I picked up on my own movements, stances, etc and I saw, even felt, like my mother.

We scratch an itch the same way. We run our fingers through our hair the same way. We sit, or cross our legs the same way. We walk the same. We hold a new item in a store and look at it the same way. We grunt when we’re frustrated with something the same way. We cough, laugh, sneeze in the same tone or way. Everything I do is my mom. I’ve noticed this much more as I’ve aged and when we FaceTime, it’s sorta cute!

The difference tho, between her and I, is how we think. I’m a strong thinker. I don’t have a religious belief, she does. I’m not a paranoid person when it comes to technology, she is (or was), or perhaps still is.  

Do I have a point to make? No, not really. I guess I’m writing this because from time to time I’ll catch myself doing something and I think, “that’s mom”. I just did my mother. But if I try to say that to my wife, she say’s “no” in a you’re-just-imagining-it tone. In an under breath I say, yeah-huh. 

For the most part I love that I have her traits. I will always be reminded of her in the little things that I do. But sometimes I tend to hate some of those traits. For example, I hate how I walk and I walk like her. I can see the heaviness in her walk and I can feel it when I walk. I will find myself trying to adjust it when I catch my “mom” in me doing it. But it is what it is. 

I am my mother. And I’m glad.